Child actively refusing visitation

So in this video we have a child who is actively refusing to go with her father. There are several things that are being done correct her. First, the visitation is occurring at a public place, in this case a police station. This ensures that there will be an audience and that father can not say that the child was not present at visitation. Next, notice that the mother does not interact initially with the father. She tries to remain a neutral party and is only videotaping for her own protection. Unfortunately at the end she does begin to engage with the other party. Also note that the child herself is refusing the visitation. She refuses to let the father touch her and is clear that she will not be leaving with the father. She clearly articulates why she will not go with the father.

For all those who are wondering whether the police will assist the father, note that the police intervened to prevent the child from yelling. They did not arrest the child. They did not assist the father. They did not force her to go. In fact their intervention actually made the father back off his harassment of her. The police have no interest in getting involved in a bitter custody battle, even if it is occurring on their doorstep.

There are however things that could be done differently, and will make the case stronger if the father persists in forcing the issue. The child should try to remain positive but firm. Choose one statement to say over and over again. In her case, she should say " I will not leave with you because you have a history of abusing me and I am afraid". That is it and say no more. By engaging with him she is furthering his pursuit of her. In addition, anything she says regarding the incident could be used against her in a future custody evaluation. By remaining polite but firm, the father can not paint her as being immature or disrespectful.

The mother can also help the situation but not engaging whatsoever with whomever is with the father. She does not defend, she does not engage. The mother and the child should consider whether it would be beneficial for the mother to wait in the car. The can discuss it before hand. This may be helpful because then the father can not accuse the mother of assisting the child in visitation refusal. Remember, in cases such as these the litigants are likely to be in front of a judge again. The judge is the audience here, it is not about getting back at the dad. His only power is to go back to court and the judge needs to see an independent polite child who clearly has a reason to refuse visitation and who is firm in her resolve.